Sunday, November 28, 2010

Will We Be Sleeping?

I started listening to Christmas music on Thanksgiving morning while I prepared food for my family. I heard this very thought provoking song by Casting Crowns and wanted to share it with you - Enjoy!

"While You Were Sleeping"

Oh little town of Bethlehem
Looks like another silent night
Above your deep and dreamless sleep
A giant star lights up the sky
And while you're lying in the dark
There shines an everlasting light
For the King has left His throne
And is sleeping in a manger tonight

Oh Bethlehem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
For God became a man
And stepped into your world today
Oh Bethlehem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

Oh little town of Jerusalem
Looks like another silent night
The Father gave His only Son
The Way, the Truth, the Life had come
But there was no room for Him in the world He came to save

Jerusalem, what you have missed while you were sleeping
The Savior of the world is dying on your cross today
Jerusalem, you will go down in history
As a city with no room for its King
While you were sleeping
While you were sleeping

United States of America
Looks like another silent night
As we're sung to sleep by philosophies
That save the trees and kill the children
And while we're lying in the dark
There's a shout heard 'cross the eastern sky
For the Bridegroom has returned
And has carried His bride away in the night

America, what will we miss while we are sleeping
Will Jesus come again
And leave us slumbering where we lay
America, will we go down in history
As a nation with no room for its King
Will we be sleeping
Will we be sleeping

United States of America
Looks like another silent night....

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Follow You God

Such a beautiful message - faith in action

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Coming Up for Air

FINALLY able to breathe again!!
One quarter is done - and I made it through!Only three more to go now! I wish I had had more time to blog about my experiences, but I have been desperately trying to keep my head above water this entire quarter.

I usually don't have such a hard time in school, but nursing school is unlike anything I have ever had to do. It is exhilarating, frustrating, and wonderfully exciting all rolled into one! I believe NEXT quarter I should have more time to blog - I had to make a few changes to my schedule to keep my sanity :) One of the changes I had to make was with my work schedule. My constant prayer to the Lord has been - as long as He wanted me to work, I would work - but the MOMENT things started to slip with my grades, I would know that it was time to let it go.

My Dosage Calculations/Pharmacology class isn't all THAT challenging - as long as you stay on top of things, but if you fall below an 80 in the class, you will fail Nursing School. With the twelve hour shifts I had to pull on the weekends, it didn't leave enough time for me to study. I received a really poor grade on one of my tests and it scared me! I realized that if I didn't make a change soon, my grades and dream to become a nurse could slip away from me.

I have gone back to working PRN (as needed) which will work out better for my schedule right now. I will have more control over my schedule and can work as I am able to - not be held to a schedule that may not work with my schoolwork. It was very hard to have to make this decision - there are a lot of people who have been hurt by this (meaning - the residents whom I worked with on the weekend).

I had one sweet gentleman cry when I told him it was my last day! I had been spending lots of extra time with him - which is one of the main reasons why I LOVED my weekend job - I would take him outside and sit with him in the sunshine and just visit. I had no idea how much this meant to him until I told him I had to let my job go. It BROKE MY HEART to have to do this to him! This is a man who had a stroke four years ago. He now spends his days trapped in his wheelchair. He is put in his wheelchair every morning, and spends his days in front of his television - until it is time for him to go to bed. Day in and day out - this is his new existence! Before his stroke - he loved to spend every waking moment outdoors. He loved to garden and enjoyed the birds. Now he is trapped in a hell that he can't wake up from. His body is no longer able to do the things he once was able to do, but his mind is still sharp - which leaves him plenty of time to sit and think about all of the things he will never be able to do again. Things we take for granted - like walking outdoors - going for a drive in a car (it takes two people to help him into a chair - I am trying to figure out a way to take him for a drive - but it will be a challenge) FEEDING himself - he has to rely on others to do this for him too!

I can't imagine the pain and depression he must feel at times - and yet, this beautiful man NEVER complains - he always has a smile to share, and if you ask him if he is in pain - he will tell you that he is in CONSTANT pain, but that he doesn't want to bother the nurses to give him anything for relief! My heart BREAKS for him - God has given me such a love for people like this! THIS is why I do what I do! And yet - I had to disappoint him and make him cry because I had to make the terrible decision to let my job go! I CAN'T let my opportunity to be a nurse slip through my fingers. I have a very small glimpse at times of what God may have in mind for me, and if He really IS leading me in the direction I believe He is, I HAVE to keep going!
I couldn't stand the thought of this gentle and loving man hurting on my account - so I decided to make it a point to continue seeing him at least two days a week. My school is only a mile down the road from my work - so I have been going to my work and visiting my "friends" a few days after my classes. I take my sweet gentleman friend outside to sit again - he is happy, I am happy - it is a win-win situation! Yesterday I took him some homemade biscuits - he had received some pear preserves from another resident but didn't have anything to eat it on - so I asked him what he would like to have and he said "MMMM... some warm homemade biscuits slathered with pear preserves sounds WONDERFUL!" Such a small, simple act on my part - meant the world to him.
If EVERYONE would reach out in this world - to take just a FEW moments out of their busy days - and REALLY SEE the hurting people all around them - who just need a little love and kindness in their lonely lives! To do this for these special people who oftentimes go unnoticed after they get older - the world would truly be a better place! I am definitely not trying to say that I am wonderful - because I AM NOT!! I am just like everyone else - I am SOOOO busy and stressed and tired and some days I REALLY don't want to take on ONE MORE THING! I tell myself after class - "Ohhhhh I REALLY just want to go home and take a hot shower after the stressful day I just had - I don't want to go to the nursing home today"!! Then I STOP and think about my dear, special friend who is waiting for me to come. I think about him sitting in front of his television waiting - because that is all he has in his life now - is to wait and look forward to the little time that I give him each week! THAT is what drives me to keep going back - when I get there and knock on his door and his eyes light up - it makes it ALL worth it! I believe that I get SO much more out of our little visits than he does! He blesses me beyond belief!

I hope that YOU will feel the urging of God to reach out to someone who needs you in this way - a simple smile and a visit goes such a long way for someone who is hurting and starved for human contact!

Okay...I will step off of my soapbox now....

I have the next two blissful weeks off from school so I hope to blog more about my experiences with nursing school during this time, and to have time visiting my special blog friends who I have neglected for these three long months.
Blessings on your day,

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I Should Be Studying

Nursing school is no joke! It has been VERY challenging but I am having the time of my life! We have had exams every week which has kept me on my toes, and my nose in a book since I started this roller coaster ride!

I was told before entering this program, that if I expected to get straight A's, I would be severely disappointed. Well - it is so true! I have always managed to maintain an A through my college experience. Now, I am GRATEFUL for the B's that the Lord has allowed me to receive! This program is SO challenging and the pace so fast that you barely have time to finish up one test - before they throw another one at you. I am constantly struggling to kept my head above water! The content of the tests are ALSO nothing like anything I have seen before! They are all based on critical thinking skills - so straight memorization of concepts that you are learning, while it does good for you to KNOW the content, it really doesn't do you any good if you can't apply what you have learned to the situations that are presented to you in each question. For example - this is an actual question that was given to me in my Fundamentals of Nursing class:

A patient requires urinary catheterization but has difficulty keeping her legs in the usual position. The nurse has worked for many years and adapts the procedure to allow the patient to lie on her side. This action is based on the critical thinking element of
A. Curiosity
B Experience
C. Perserverance
D. Scientific knowledge

Now this question appears very straight forward, but it actually holds many different meanings. I picked the correct answer which was - B. Experience. You need to pick out key words in the question in order to answer correctly because in certiain questions - they may ALL be correct answers - you have to determine the best answer! In the above question the key words would be - has worked for many years and adapts the procedure. I don't know - maybe you can all see that "B" would be the right answer, but to me - it gets all so very fuzzy at times!!

Or try this one if you are not convinced. Now mind you - these are the easy ones - remember I am just getting started on my journey here - also - I am trying to give you examples that would be understandable without prior nursing knowledge:

The patient is able to ambulate without signs or symptoms of shortness of breath. Which statement by the nurse is the best example of an objective evaluation of the client's goal attainment?
A. Patient has no pain after ambulating.
B. Patient has no manifestations of nausea while up in hall.
C. Patient has no evidence of respiratory distress when ambulating.
D. Patient walked well and did not have any problem when up.

The correct answer - is C - Patient has no evidence of respiratory distress when ambulating.

I don't know - maybe it is just me - but THESE QUESTIONS ARE TRICKY!!! They really require you to stay on your toes - especially when you are taking an exam - because EVERY question counts against your grade!

If I fall below a cumulative grade of 75 in the class - I am out of the program! That is so stressful to everyone - because it is so hard! Every day presents NEW challenges that we have never been faced with. I could never imagine falling below a 75 - EVER! I study too hard for my classes for that to happen - but you just NEVER KNOW when it comes to this program!

I am trying to keep a positive attitude - my husband says I am so negative! I am sorry if I am coming across that way - this is all so new to me and I REALLY don't want to fail. I feel TOTALLy out of control which is disconcerting - but I NEED to start remembering everyday - that GOD IS IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE AND IS DETERMINING THE DIRECTION FOR MY LIFE!!! IF HE WANTS ME TO SUCCEED -HE WILL HAVE TO SEE ME THROUGH IT!

Please pray for me that I am able to get enough sleep - I have been surviving on about 4-5 hours a night and getting up at 3:00 in the morning to study. Please pray that I keep the RIGHT focus - and that I continue to put GOD FIRST in all tihngs - I am trying SO hard to find time to read His Word as well as study. I am trying not to panic and find the RIGHT attitude everyday. I am trying to keep pride out of my heart when I DO get a good grade - I want to remember that it is all GOD'S doing - when that happens and that He can just as easily allow me to fall on my face - if He wants me to!

More later - gotta run!
Blessings to you all,

Friday, July 9, 2010

First Day of Nursing School

Yesterday was my first day of Nursing School and I think this picture says it all! YIKES!

I have been waiting for this day for so long and tried to be prepared for it. Our family went on vacation for a week to Florida before school started, and the whole time I was there I had my face in a book. Everyone kept telling me - "You should just relax and enjoy the time you have before school starts - because after it starts, you won't have any more free time". I am here to tell you - I am SO glad that I studied! Our first day of class WE HAD A DOSAGE CALCULATIONS EXAM!!!

Remember - this is my FIRST DAY - people! Dosage Calculations is a class in which I absolutely CAN'T make any mistakes! I have to get a cumulative grade of 80%. If I fall below an 80%, I will be asked to leave Nursing School. No stress right? Math has never been my strongpoint in school. I have to work very hard at it. To have an exam - without knowing how to REALLY do the problems, THEN having that exam count for a large part of my grade in this class - is insane!

Our day started off with wrapping up administrative paperwork, then we took time to get to know each other by everyone standing up and introducing themselves and telling why we decided to pursue Nursing. At Orientation, we started out with 33 people. One girl didn't show up yesterday - so she is out of the program. After our surprise exam, I am wondering who will fail to show up today! There were so many people yesterday who said they felt like throwing up due to all of the information being thrown at them!

After the introductions, we had a break and then we dove into Dosage Calculations - FOR THE NEXT 6 HOURS! My head was spinning and although the information was helpful, knowing that we had an exam at the end of it all - made it SO hard to absorb all of the material being thrown at us!

I will calm down now - I will take a DEEP breath.....and I will prepare myself for day TWO of this wonderful new adventure......
I will remind myself Who is in charge of my destination and spend time with HIM in prayer -and I will jump back in with both feet- because I LOVE this rollercoaster I am on!

Sunday, May 30, 2010


Orientation left my head spinning! Four hours went by in a flash and I STILL feel like there are questions that were left unanswered! Oh well - July 8th will come quickly now and I guess we will ALL find out then what we have gotten ourselves into!

Everyone arrived yesterday with a smile! We all have been waiting for this for such a long time and since the program is SO competitive - to have made it in, leaves us all feeling very honored to be a part of this awesome experience! There are 33 people in my class. 33 people that I will get to know well as we will be spending a LOT of time together this year! There are only 4 men in our class - and there is a wide range of ages.

We are in a new building so things are a little bit scattered right now - we are not sure where we will end up and as of now - we are elbow to elbow at our desks in a very small room. It is going to be interesting to see how small the room will feel when we each bring all of our books we will need for class every day. :)

Our class filled out the necessary paperwork and applied for background checks and drug tests, then we met with a uniform company to try on our nursing uniforms!! It felt SO great to be able to finally put one on! I am sure I will be sick of white by the end of the year! :)

We were given a large envelope filled with material to go over. There is just so much - I felt my head spinning. We went over our book list - I have nine books that I will need for the first quarter! I already have homework to be completed before the first day of class too - (Eek!)

A group of girls from the graduating class came to give us an idea about what the program will be like and to give us some ideas as to how to organize our time efficiently. We will need to bring ALL of our books with us everyday, so it was suggested that we invest in a quality rolling backpack. One of the girls said that her "Walmart" backpack only made it through 6 months! I kid you not - one of our books alone has over 1800 pages!

One of the girls said, "this program is no joke - you will have lots of fun here, but be prepared to cry ALOT as you will be pushed to the point of exhaustion. Be prepared to kiss your family and friends goodbye for this year of your life." She also said that she really didn't advise working - especially for the first quarter which has me worried - I HAVE to work two twelve hour shifts on the weekends! I have no choice in the matter. At least my hubby told me I could have a housekeeper come in every other week to clean so I don't have to worry about that.

This will definitely be an interesting year! I truly believe that this is all in the Lord's plan for my life - He has brought me to this place - He will have to see me through it! I will have to cling to Him - now just to find the extra time needed for reading my Bible - I really need to keep focused on Him and keep up my morning time with Him now more than ever - because I can't go to church and it would be TOO easy to just let my morning quiet time fall by the wayside - Lord be with me, and help me find the needed time to spend with You!!

I am SO grateful to Him for this wonderful new adventure I am on.

Off to order some books...

Blessings on your day,


Thursday, May 27, 2010

Countdown to Nursing School

It is Orientation day today and I am so excited!! I have been waiting so long for this! Today I will find out what I am getting myself into. We meet this afternoon from 12:00-4:00 to go over background checks, drug tests, order our uniforms and books and register for our classes which will begin on July 8th.
My plan is to journal as much as I can about this amazing experience so that others who are entering, or hope to enter into this wonderful field will know what to expect.
More later...


Sunday, May 23, 2010

Temporary Home

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body.

So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

It is written: "I believed; therefore I have spoken."With that same spirit of faith we also believe and therefore speak, because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you in his presence.

All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all.

So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.

2 Corinthians 4:7-18

Blessings to you this day and always,

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

The Letter Is Here!

The long awaited letter arrived on Saturday. I finally made it! I received my acceptance letter FOR THE NURSING PROGRAM!

God is so good and His timing is always perfect! I was so distraught when the last school that I applied for fell through, but this school is so much closer to me and has a better reputation. School will officially start in July - which doesn't leave much time to get things done - (yikes!) With one letter, my life has been turned upside down - but I love it! My long awaited dream of becoming a nurse is coming true. I am so happy right now! (Can you tell?)

As you know, I have been severely neglecting this blog - but I just didn't feel like I had much to say - my life has consisted of just work and sleep lately! Now it seems, this blog will take a whole new direction - at least for the next year while I am in school. I will still write about my family, and turning our wonderful house into a home - but I would also like to journal about this awesome new experience that the Lord has graciously blessed me with!

For those of you who have hung in with me through my silences - thank you! I am forever grateful for all of your prayers on my behalf! I have enjoyed getting to know you and even though I haven't always been the best at commenting, I HAVE stopped off to visit you and continue to follow how you are doing. I hope that through all of this, you will continue to read and experience this with me. This is a whole new adventure and it looks like it will be a fun and bumpy ride!

For those of you who will be reading this for the nursing student experience, I will try to journal about it all as much as I am able.


Things I need to finish before school officially starts in July:
  • Paint bathroom
  • Paint bedroom
  • Hang pictures throughout the house
  • Deep clean entire house
  • Prepare large meals to freeze for those days when I don't feel like cooking
  • Go to the doctor for my physical/immunizations
  • School Orientation at end of the month
  • Order books and uniforms
  • Fly to Washington for a week to visit my family
  • Order glass for my new desktop

WHEW! Can I possibly get it all done in time?

I better get started - pictures to come of my progress....


Sunday, April 18, 2010


"God called unto him...and he said, Here am I" Exodus 3:4

When God speaks, many of us are like men in a fog, we give no answer. Moses' reply revealed that he was somewhere. Readiness means a right relationship to God and a knowledge of where we are at present. We are so busy telling God where we would like to go. The man or woman who is ready for God and His work is the one who carries off the prize when the summons comes. We wait with the idea of some great opportunity, something sensational, and when it comes we are quick to cry - "Here am I." Whenever Jesus Christ is in the ascendant, we are there, but we are not ready for an obscure duty.

Readiness for God means that we are ready to do the tiniest little thing or the great big thing, it makes no difference. We have no choice in what we want to do, whatever God's program may be we are there, ready. When any duty presents itself we hear God's voice as Our Lord heard His Father's voice, and we are ready for it with all the alertness of our love for Him. Jesus Christ expects to do with us as His Father did with Him. He can put us where He likes, in pleasant duties or in mean duties, because the union is that of the Father and Himself. "That they may be one, even as We are one."

Be ready for the sudden surprise visits of God. A ready person never needs to get ready. Think of the time we waste trying to get ready when God has called! The burning bush is a symbol of everything that surrounds the ready soul, it is ablaze with the presence of God.

My Utmost For His Highest - Oswald Chambers

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Can You See Him "In The Way"

In the time of deepest sorrow,
When life seems without a ray
And the wound is fresh and opened,
Can you see Him "in the way?"

When your plans and dearest projects
Shattered fell and broken lay,
And you vainly try to mend them,
Can you see Him "in the way?"

When your prayers remain unanswered
And you almost cease to pray,
Feeling that the heavens are brazen -
Can you see Him "in the way?"

When your dearest hope has vanished,
When your friends forsake, betray,
And all earthly props are broken -
Can you see Him "in the way?"

Broken rays become a rainbow;
Broken clods, a fruitful meadow;
Pruned vines bear richest clusters;
Cut and polished gems, rare lustres;
Harvests rise from buried grain;
Lives are born through grief and pain; -
God dwells in the broken clay.
He alone leads "in the way:
Taken from the book "Streams in the Desert - Volume Two" Mrs. Charles E. Cowman


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

A Book Review - "Living With Confidence In A Chaotic World"

Living With Confidence In A Chaotic World is a wonderful read! There is so much in this book, it needs times of deep contemplation - definitely not a book to be read in a day!
In this book, Dr Jeremiah touches on some of the momentous turns of events that we are currently experiencing in our lives today - the state of the economy, natural disasters, sin/evil in the world, and how as children of God, we are to handle these situations. He talks about the world's way of handling stress - through the steady increase in pharmaceutical medications to handle anxiety, versus God's way to handle anxiety - by turning our focus on Him!
Dr Jeremiah writes:
"If we are going to live courageous lives in these chaotic days, we will need to be calm in our hearts, compassionate towards others, constructive in our relationships, challenged to grow, connected to the church. We were created to live in community, not in isolation."
Dr Jeremiah gives constructive tips on how to stay focused on the Lord to help to combat the evils of this world. He also teaches us to stay focused on others - even in the midst of hardship.
He writes:
"Have you stopped and considered that the real purpose of your struggles, at a given moment, might be the heart of compassion God is building within you? Smooth sailing doesn't develop such a thing, you know. Trials develop our humility, and humility opens our eyes to the needs of others. If we look to do His service during tough times, we will come out better rather than bitter."
He also writes:
" In times such as these we have to look somewhere for answers. The psychologist tells us to look within. The opportunist tells us to we should look around. The optimist tells us we should look ahead, and the pessimist tells us we should look out. But God says we should look up- even when we feel down."
Dr Jeremiah quotes from "Exploring Colossians and Philemon: An Expository Commentary" - John Phillips
A great book! One you will want to read again and again!
Check out Book Sneez for this and other wonderful books!

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Welcome - Your Table Is Ready

"Unless your righteousness surpasses that of the scribes and Pharisees,
you will not enter into the Kingdom of heaven"
(Matt 5:20)

Reflection: There was a dedicated old priest who had always wondered what real difference was between heaven and hell. One day, he had a dream in which God showed him.

First, God showed him hell. The old priest was flabbergasted to find no flames, no horned, pointy-tailed devils - only crowds of angry people pressing around long picnic tables. At each place was a large wooden bowl of food and ten-foot long wooden spoons. Pushing and shoving to find places at the tables, the angry people managed to get their long spoons into the bowls - but they were unable to get them into their mouths. Their frustration and the accompanying bitterness and bickering were sheer hell!

Then the old priest was given a glimpse of heaven. He was amazed to discover the same massive picnic tables, the same huge wooden bowls of food, and the same ten-foot long wooden spoons. But in heaven there was a spirit of peace, thoughtfulness, even joy. In heaven, the people were feeding one another.
To enter the kingdom of God, to realize the reign of God among us in the here and now, we must embrace a new attitude toward God and one another, an attitude based on compassion, generosity, forgiveness, and justice, an attitude centered not in self but in the common good. Such is the holiness that Christ calls us to adopt in our lives if we are to be true sons and daughters of the Father, true brothers and sisters to one another, true disciples of the Risen One.

Prayer: Father in heaven, make us worthy to one day reside in Your dwelling place by embracing Your spirit of love and compassion for one another on our journey to You. As You feed us, may we feed one another; as You forgive us, may we forgive one another; as You welcome us into Your presence at the end of time, may we welcome one another to our tables in this time you have given us.
Daily Reflections For Lent - Not By Bread Alone - 2010

Blessings on your week ahead,

Sunday, March 7, 2010

The Vineyard

"But when the tenants saw the son, they said to one another,
'This is the heir.
Come, let us kill him and acquire his inheritance.'
They seized him, threw him out of the vineyard and killed him."
(Matt 21:38-39)

Reflection: In these difficult economic times for all of us, a moment of hope from a Minnesota supermarket:

While a woman waited to check out at the grocery store, the person ahead of her turned and handed her an envelope. On the front there was a note. "There is $50.00 in this envelope for your groceries. Take it if you need it or pass it on." She passed the envelope to the person behind her, who in turn gave it away. As she watched the envelope progress through the lines she was surprised that some people even added money to it.

The Spirit of God moved through that line of shoppers in the form of an envelope. Any time compassion and generosity, selflessness and humility compel people to do what is right and just, the Spirit of God is moving among them.

Today's gospel shows a "vineyard" devoid of that Spirit. For the tenants, all that matters is the profit to be realized. They turn on the vineyard owner who has been nothing but kind to them; they murder the owner's son who comes to hold them accountable.

We have seen what happens when the interests of the few are placed before the common good of all, when basic ethics and morality are dismissed as naive and unrealistic in order to make the quick buck. God will hold us accountable so that His vineyard will be used responsibly and justly for the good of all.

God has given us a wonderful vineyard that we often take for granted, that we mar and destroy by our selfishness. Christ comes with a new vision for the vineyard, a vision of generous sharing rather than obsessive taking, of peace rather than hostility, of forgiveness rather than vengeance. May we welcome Christ into the vineyard of our homes, our workplaces, our schools, aware that He calls us to the demanding conversion of the Gospel, but determined to sow and reap the blessings of God's reign.

Prayer: O Lord of the vineyard, You gave us this earth as a place of peace to seek You and grow in Your love. By Your grace, wisdom, and light, may we transform the villages and vineyards You have given us into places where Your justice abounds and Your peace reigns.

Daily Reflections For Lent - Not By Bread Alone 2010

Blessings to you this week,

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Do Ye Now Believe?

"By this we believe....Jesus answered, Do ye now believe?"

Now we believe. Jesus says - Do you? The time is coming when you will leave me alone. Many a Christian worker had left Jesus Christ alone and gone into work from a sense of duty, or from a sense of need arising out of his own particular discernment. The reason for this is the absence of the resurrection life of Jesus. The soul has got out of intimate contact with God by leaning to its own religious understanding. There is no sin in it, and no punishment attached to it; but when the soul realizes how he has hindered his understanding of Jesus Christ, and produced for himself perpelexities and sorrows and difficulties, it is with shame and contrition he has to come back.

We need to rely on the resurrection life of Jesus much deeper than we do, to get into the habit of steadily referring everything back to Him; instead of this we make our common sense decisions and ask God to bless them. He cannot, it is not in His domain. it is severed from reality. If we do a thing from a sense of duty, we are putting up a standard in competition with Jesus Christ. We become a "superior person," and say - "Now in this matter I must do this and that." We have put our sense of duty on the throne instead of the resurrection life of Jesus. We are not told to walk in the light of conscience or of a sense of duty, but to walk in the light as God is in the light. When we do anything from a sense of duty, we can back it up by argument; when we do anything in obedience to the Lord, there is no argument possible; that is why a saint can be easily ridiculed.

My Utmost For His Highest - Oswald Chambers

Thursday, February 25, 2010

When God's Answer is Not What You Expect

My heart is heavy this morning and it hurts so much to even type out these words. Yesterday was my birthday and God saw fit on this day to give me the answer to my greatest prayer. His answer - was no. Or maybe it was wait - at this point in my grief process I am not sure what to think.

For those of you who have been reading my blog for awhile, you know that my greatest desire is to become a nurse. I have poured my heart and soul into this effort. I have PLEADED with the Lord over this! Everything seemed to be working out according to MY schedule - but obvious to me now, not in GOD'S timing.
With God's help I have been able to make a 4.0 in all of my prerequisites courses. This is HUGE for me because I was never an "A" student when I was a child. I have done everything required of me to try to get into the nursing program, yet yesterday I received the letter from the college that stated I was not accepted into the program. I am devastated!

When I turned in my application for the nursing program, one of the requirements for entrance was to take a Pre-Nursing Entrance Exam. I had planned to take this test after my fall quarter classes were through so that I would have plenty of time to study for it. It is an intense 3 hour test - definitely NOT one that you want to go into unprepared! The college unexpectedly cancelled the test date that I wanted to get into, and the only test date that I was able to get into was right smack in the middle of my Fall quarter finals week! To take the time to study for THIS test would have taken much needed study time away from my classes that I desperately was trying to get the best grades in. All I could do at the time was to pray that if it was in God's will that I succeed, that He would have to make it happen! I took the test, had EVERYONE praying for God's will to be done, and I got my answer yesterday. ON MY BIRTHDAY of all days!

What does this mean for me now? I really don't know at this point. I have this weekend job hanging in the balance too - I don't know if I should keep it now.
It was the score that I made on the test- that was my downfall. It wasn't the worst grade, but it wasn't high enough to compete with the high grades that others received. This program is highly competitive and I didn't make the grade - THIS TIME - but I am not giving up yet!

I can't retake the pre-entrance exam again until June. Should I retake it in hopes of trying to get into the nursing program that opens in the summer? And what about my weekend job that is hanging in the balalnce? Should I hold onto it in hopes that when I get into the program - it will be a job that I can do while in the program, or should I let it go completely? If I let it go I will not be able to work when I DO get accepted and then I won't be able to help my husband out financially for the year it will take me to complete the program. Everything seemed to be coming together perfectly - for MY plan - but I am guessing now - this was not GOD'S plan for me - just my wishful thinking. I was trying too hard to control the outcome.

Even though this has been a hard couple of days and my head is swirling, I am trying to keep my heart open to what God wants me to learn from all of this - and in what direction He wants me move now.
During my morning time with the Lord, I have felt His loving arms around me. The devotions that I read today have nearly jumped off the page with messages meant JUST for my heart to hear. I thought I would share them with you today. Maybe you are going through a similar period of unrest or loss of direction in your life. I hope this speaks to your heart this morning as it spoke to mine. Speak to us Lord for your children are here - listening.....

"In many of our prayers, we ask God to come around to doing our will - but true prayer is to discover God's will for us. We often approach prayer as trying to wring gifts from an unwilling, reluctant God; in fact, we come before a God who knows our needs better than we do ourselves. Authentic prayer seeks to make God's will our will - and being ready and willing to make the necessary transformations in our everyday life to make our prayers a reality. Prayer worthy of God seeks the grace to do the work God calls us to do (forgiveness, charity, justice) and to become the people God calls us to become. (brothers and sisters under the one Heavenly Father)"
Daily Reflections for Lent - Not by Bread Alone

"The real test of the saint is not preaching the gospel, but washing disciples' feet, that is, doing the things that do not count in the actual estimate of men but count everything in the estimate of God. Paul delighted to spend himself out for God's interests in other people, and he did not care what it cost. We come in with our economical notions - "Suppose God wants me to go there - what about the salary? What about the climate? How shall I be looked after? A man must consider these things." All that is an indication that we are serving God with a reserve. The apostle Paul had no reserve. Paul focuses Jesus Christ's idea of a New Testament saint in his life, viz.: (as follows) not one who proclaims the Gospel merely, but one who becomes broken bread and poured out wine in the hands of Jesus Christ for other lives."
My Utmost For His Highest - Oswald Chambers

If you find it in your heart to pray for me, please pray that the Lord will give me direction for HIS will in my life - HIS will be done - not mine!

God's richest blessings to you,

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The Call Of God

"Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I. Here am I; send me."

God did not address the call to Isaiah; Isaiah overheard God saying, "Who will go for us?" The call of God is not for the special few, it is for everyone. Whether or not I hear God's call depends upon the state of my ears; and what I hear depends upon my disposition. "Many are called but few are chosen," that is, few prove themselves the chosen ones. The chosen ones are those who have come into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ whereby their disposition has been altered and their ears unstopped, and they hear the still small voice questioning all the time, "Who will go for us?" It is not a question of God singling out a man and saying, "Now, you go." God did not lay a strong compulsion on Isaiah; Isaiah was in the presence of God and he overheard the call, and realized that there was nothing else for him but to say, in conscious freedom, "Here I am, send me."

Get out of your mind the idea of expecting God to come with compulsions and pleadings. When our Lord called His disciples there was no irresistible compulsion from outside, The quiet passionate insistence of His "Follow Me" was spoken to men with every power wide awake. If we let the Spirit of God bring us face to face with God, we too shall hear something akin to what Isaiah heard, the still small voice of God; and in perfect feeedom will say. "Here am I; send me."

My Utmost For His Highest - Oswald Chambers

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Daniel Fast

I started on a new 21 day journey two weeks ago and haven't had any time to blog about it -I started this along with two of my very best friends and sisters in Christ. We decided to do a 21 day Fast that is called "The Daniel Fast." For those of you who are unfamiliar with this fast, go here to learn more.
The premise of this fast is not to restrict eating for 21 days, but to study the book of Daniel and participate in a partial fast -which restricts specific types of food for a spiritual purpose. It was not my desire to enter into anything legalistic, this is just a personal consecration - to set apart a specific period of time to immerse myself in God's Word and by studying the life of Daniel, to take by HIS example - a food plan for the next 21 days that I am sure will benefit my physical body as well as my spiritual body.

So far on my journey, I have lost 7 pounds! This is definitely an added bonus of this fast. I am now on the final week and I am sad to see it go. I have enjoyed the new diet and the way it makes me feel as well as the time set apart for my Lord. I am thinking about continuing the fast through the end of the month. I will try to be better about posting about my journey.

I have been so very busy lately and have had little time for posting. I have been eagerly awaiting word from the Lord (and my college) about whether I have made it into the nursing program that will begin in April. I should hear word any day now and as you can imagine - I am on pins and needles! This was the main purpose for beginning this fast. I needed to strengthen myself for the answer. What if God wants me to wait for awhile? What if I don't get into the program right now? What direction will I go then? What is my "back up" plan?

To occupy my mind and my time - I have been working constantly! I work at the hospital about 4 days a week and I have taken on a temporary nanny position 2 days a week, caring for a sweet 3 month old little girl while her mommy waits to get her into a nearby day care center in April.

This schedule has left me with very little time for blogging so I apologize for my absence! I am still working my weekend shift at the hospital and have just received word that the lady that I have been filling the job for will not be returning as planned so they want to hire me for this position! This will require me to commit to signing a contract for 1 year - so as you can imagine, I am very torn about this. I will have to give up going to church for a year! I have been working this position now for almost 4 months and I miss my church family desperately! It is my prayer that this is all a part of God's plan for me because if I DO get into the nursing program, I will be able to work the weekends and help my husband out financially. I am hoping to get word soon so that I can accept or reject this offer. Everything is coming together for this new journey in my life - I am now just trying to be patient for the outcome.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. I miss visiting you all and will try to be better about posting!


Sunday, January 31, 2010

Look Again and Consecrate

A simple statement of Jesus is always a puzzle to us if we are not simple. How are we going to be simple with the simplicity of Jesus? By receiving His Spirit, recognizing and relying on Him, obeying Him as He brings the Word of God, and life will become amazingly simple. "Consider," says Jesus, "how much more your Father who clothes the field will clothe you, if you keep your relationship right with Him." Every time we have gone back in spiritual communion it has been because we have impertinently known better than Jesus Christ. We have allowed the cares of the world to come in, and have forgotten the "much more" of our Heavenly Father.

"Behold the fowls of the air" - their main aim is to obey the principle of life that is in them and God looks after them. Jesus says that if you are rightly related to Him and obey His Spirit that is in you, God will look after your 'feathers.'

"Consider the lilies of the field" - they grow where they are put. Many of us refuse to grow where we are put, consequently we take root nowhere. Jesus says that if we obey the life God has given us, He will look after all the other things. Has Jesus Christ told us a lie? If we are not experiencing the "much more," it is because we are not obeying the life God has given us, we are taken up with confusing considerations. How much time have we taken up worrying God with questions when we should have been absolutely free to concentrate on His work? Consecration means the continual separating of myself to one particular thing. We cannot consecrate once and for all. Am I continually separating myself to consider God every day of my life?
"If God so clothe the grass of the field....shall He not much more clothe you?"
Oswald Chambers - My Utmost For His Highest



Sunday, January 24, 2010

I Know a Love

This is my cousins amazing son. He and his wife wrote and are singing this song for their church in Las Vegas. Off to work this morning. Have a blessed day in the Lord today!

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Safe in His Arms

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
Deuteronomy 31:6


Saturday, January 9, 2010

When Life Hands You Lemons...

When life hands you lemons....

You can make lemonade...OR ....

Chocolate peanut butter balls

Almond Roca - just waiting to be broken into delicious bite size pieces

Soft Peanut Brittle - just poured out hot from the pan - waiting to cool and then broken up into bite size pieces

Brownie Biscotti - added some melted chocolate swirls over the top - yum!

OR... You can finish making your After-Christmas cookies so you can FINALLY send them off to the kids! :)

We awoke yesterday to snow here in Georgia. It was so beautiful and it gave me the opportunity to declare a snow day - a day to relax and play "catch up" on all of the things that fell by the wayside during the frantic holiday chaos. I had the opportunity to finally finish up the cookies I was supposed to have done before Christmas! Something tells me that the kids will enjoy them just as much now -:)

It was a VERY enjoyable day! We had a fire and watched some movies....

This morning we are STILL left with this....

This is the hill that takes us out of our subdivision. This is the halfway point! As you can see, this hill is daunting to walk up and down - even when it is snow free! Add some snow and ice and it is treacherous! We checked out the hill several times during the day yesterday and as the day wore on, it seemed to get icier. I slipped and am now sporting a nice big bruise on my knee - NOT the place to be walking - let alone driving on.

This shot shows my hubby and ginger walking down the hill - again - at the halfway mark. It looks innocent enough -but there is ice under the snow and in our 16 degree weather we are having - it doesn't look like it will be melting anytime soon! This picture was taken during the morning hours. Can you see the truck in the distance that is stuck in the snow on the hill? This is what it looked like by the afternoon yesterday....

The cars are piling up - doesn't look like any of us will be leaving home anytime soon. I am frustrated this morning because the scene hasn't changed much from yesterday's picture - still no DOT sanding trucks - and I was supposed to be at work this morning to work my 12 hour weekend shift! I missed two days last week due to a fever and sinus infection, and it looks like I will be home yet another day today ~sigh~

SOMEONE has been enjoying her snow day though!

Blessings to all of you - hope you are staying warm and enjoying your Saturday!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Advance Into The New Year On Bended Knee

Advance into the new year on your knees. Faith does not concern itself with the entire journey. One step is enough. That first step is all that is needed. Breathe a prayer for courage to fill your legs as well as your heart as you face the unknown, the unexpected. What matters that you know not your destination? Put your hand in the hand of God. He gives the calmness and serenity of heart and soul. As He endures, you too, can endure the climb over sharp rocks and crags. Climb with Him to the end of the year - yea, even to the end of life's trail. "The peak that is nearest the storm cloud is nearer the stars of light." He gives the courage for which you pray to rise above the valley. Heed the Master's voice and press on bravely - on to the fulfillment of your task. You have a whole NEW year to scale!
Streams in the Desert Volume Two

And the Lord shall guide thee continually....Isa. 58:11
...and He will make my feet like hind's feet, and He will make me to walk upon mine high places Hab. 3:19