Saturday, December 20, 2008

Rough Day


I feel terrible right now. I just got back from running errands and when I was on the road heading towards home, I accidently ran over a squirrel. I wish I hadn't looked in the rear view mirror - he was on his back and his poor little legs were flailing. I can't get the image out of my head. I am so distraught right now. I can't stop crying for the poor little thing. My husband thinks I am being silly, but if you knew me well - you'd know that I wouldn't hurt anything on purpose- (except of course spiders - deathly afraid of them and can't bear to have them in my home!)

When my kids were younger they laughed that I pulled the car over for a bee which was holding tightly to my windshield waiting to fly off when my car would slow down.

I have so much to do and all I can think about is the poor little squirrel and how I hope he didn't suffer. I can't seem to bring myself to go back to look to see if he is gone. Maybe he is still alive - I feel bad that I didn't wait to help him.

Maybe some of you think I am being silly - but please say a prayer that my little squirrel friend didn't suffer. God takes care of the sparrows- I know that he cares for this little guy too.

All morning I have been watching my sweet friends outside on my porch enjoying the treats that I leave them. The picture at the top of this post was taken looking out on my back deck at a squirrel sitting in our bird feeder. We have it suspended from a pole attached to the deck. I enjoy watching them eat so much and I don't even mind the fact that they keep the birds away when they do this. I have set up some corn cobs now for them to enjoy, but they much prefer the sunflower seeds in the feeder. This picture was taken in the early Fall - I have to take pictures of them through my window because if I open the door - they will run down the stairs.
I can't believe I was so careless. I need to slow down when I drive - maybe that is my lesson in all of this. I get close to home and just get in "the zone" and wasn't thinking.
Now I have to live with the fact that I killed something that I love.
Okay Kymber...refocus - Christmas is around the corner and still so much to do....


5 comments:

Susan said...

Aww, sending a cyber-hug. I am the same... do NOT go back (my 2 cents). The squirrel is now playing in the fields of heaven. Perhaps one of my 2 previous dogs (mini dachshunds) are now chasing him (they loved to chase squirrels, but never came close to ever catching one).

You would have avoided it if possible... which is more thanmost could say. If it would make you feel better, give the squirrels in your back yard some more treats ...

You have such a big heart!

Melissa Miller said...

Hello Kymber,

I know exactly how you feel....I love all animals so much.
I accidently hit a cat one night about a year ago. It ran out so quickly and then it was all over. I felt TERRIBLE for days and cried and cried. I have no idea what happened to it in the end but it could not of been a good outcome.

Try to have a good day.

Take Care, ~Melissa

Glenda said...

I have to keep telling myself that squirrels are just rodents with fancy tails. They are so darned cute, but rodents carry diseases just like cockroaches do. I will go out of my way not to harm one of God's creatures (even spiders). If I find one (roach or spider) in my home, I try to sweep him out with a broom. I even try to catch candle-flies and release them outside.
When I drove more, especially at night, I would try not to overdrive my headlights. We have a lot of deer in my area. I even installed deer whistles on the front bumper of my car. Don't know if they worked, but I never hit a deer. I draw the line at swerving to avoid hitting anything, if it might make me lose control of the vehicle.
I think often of a Geico commercial with two squirrels giving each other a high five for making a motorist wreck their car trying to avoid hitting them. My last words to my husband each morning as he leaves is "look out for Bambi and Geico". We are covered up with squirrels in this area also, due I think to so many pecan trees.
Kymber, it was an accident, don't beat yourself up so bad about it.

ann said...

BLESS YOUR HEART.I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL KYMBER.I WAS ON MY WAY TO WORK ONE MORNING,IN A HURRY.A LITTLE SQUIRREL RAN OUT IN FRONT OF ME,SPLAT.I FELT MY TIRE GET HER.SHE MOVED OUT OF THE WAY AND GOT OUT OF THE ROAD.
I WAS CRYING SO HARD.I TOOK SOMETHING,I FORGET NOW,A COAT OR SOMETHING,PICKED HER UP.THERE WAS A VET ON MY WAY TO WORK.I PULLED IN,TOOK THE LITTLE GIRL(EASY TI TELL)IN,IN MY ARMS.I WAS CRYING SO HARD I COULD HARDLY BREATH.OH---THE GUILT,LIKE YOU,I'M SURE.
A KIND NURSE CAME RIGHT OUT,TOOK HER.SHE HAD MOVED IN MY CAR,BUT SHE WAS NO LONGER MOVING,
SOME OLD BITTY IN THE WAITING ROOM I OVERHEARD IN MY STUPER SAY SOMETHING ABOUT RABIES,BLA,.BLA.
I WASN'T WORRIED ABOUT RABIES.THAT PRECIOUS BABY WAS GATHERING FOOD,SHE WASN'T LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO BITE.
IF I HADN'T BEEN SO UPSET,I PROBABLY WOULD'VE BIT THE BAG MYSELF.
ANYWAY,BACK TO THE KIND NURSE.SHE LISTENED TO HER HEARTBEAT AS I LOOKED ON.SHE DIDN'T STOP ME FROM FOLLOWING HER.SHE WAS PRETTY SMART.SHE HAD GONE ON.SHE WAS DEAD.
OH GIRL,I CRIED SO HARD.RIGHT NOW,I STILL FEEL THE PAIN.IT WAS SPRING,I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY BABIES SHE HAD.........
BACK TO MY STORY.THE SWEET NURSE ASKED ME IF I WANTED TO HAVE HER CREMATED.IT WAS HEALTHIER,BLA..BLA....I TOLD HE OKAY.OFFERED TO PAY HER.SHE SAID NO,THAT WAS THEIR DUTY.
BUT I STILL FEEL SO BADLY.AND I STILL WISH I'D PUNCHED THAT OLD BITTY OUT.NOT REALLY,BUT I WISH SO BAD,I WOULD'VE PUT HER IN HER PLACE...ANN

kymber said...

Thanks Glenda for your sympathetic thoughts. You are a MUCH better person than I am -I can't even get CLOSE to a spider let alone set it free outside. Usually a broom does the trick - I am able to stand far enough away to smack it a good one. Afterward I do a little dance - screaming eww! eww!eww!
I am terrified of them and have even gone so far as to call one of our kids home from spending the night somewhere to kill a spider so that I could go to work knowing it was gone. Shameless I know!
~Grin~
Kymber