I just got back from taking my son to the airport. It is time to send him back to his college. It was so hard - I cried all of the way back home. Where did the week go? It flew by so fast. It seems that when you are waiting for a special event to arrive the time just drags, yet when you finally get there the time speeds by. This has been such a hard new path for me. I never envisioned being this far from my babies. This holiday season will be the most difficult time I have ever faced. My children (I have three children and my husband has four - we raised them all together) will be home with their father this year - a place that they will always call home - Washington. We will not be able to travel back there this year because the move was such a huge expense for us, that we are still trying to get our heads above water. No matter how many times we bring our kids here to visit - their home will always be in Washington. I can't help but feel that Washington is my home too. It is where I wish I could run to so often. I long to feel roots being planted deep in the soil here so that I can finally feel at home. I probably will never truly have that feeling when my family is so far from me. I don't know how people cope living far away from their loved ones. I guess I will have to find out the hard way.
I was able to do some shopping for him while he was here. He got his presents early due to the fact that he is so hard to buy clothes for. I will be sending him his usual cookies though. I am going to start my Christmas baking this week so that I can send Christmas cookies out to all of our kids. They have put in their favorite orders to me so that I can send all of my love through my baking. At least this will give me something to focus on. I also will need to learn the right times to send packages through the mail so that everything gets to them on time. With all of our children so spread out, that is definitely going to be a challenge.
This phase of my life happened before I could blink. I can't believe that I am an empty nester! I miss the sound of laughter in my house and spend alot of time thinking about their childhood years. Cherish the limited time you have with your kids -you young mothers out there who are reading this. It flies by so fast!
One of the gifts that I will be giving our two married daughters this year are memory boxes to hold all of their treasures from their growing up years. I heard about this on Oprah. (I am trying to link to the site - hopefully it worked because I have never done this before - It is supposed to take you to the treasure box section. It is on the third page of the article if it doesn't take you to the right spot) I have faithfully saved every item that my kids have ever made or things that were memorable in their life. Believe me - with seven children - that was alot! As the children become settled in their lives and have their own homes I will be putting together these boxes for them. It is probably going to cause more tears for me because I will walk down memory lane - but I think it will be a good thing to do for the kids as they are missing me as much as I am missing them.
I know that this is a heavy post today. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve - especially when it comes to my children who I consider my greatest achievements in life. This blog will be very therapeutic to me. You are reading my heart everytime I post - the good, the bad and hopefully not too often - the ugly.
If your children are still home with you, really take the time today to look at them. They are God's most precious gifts to us in this life. Curl up on the couch together and read to them (if they are little) and breathe in their wonderful scent. This is what I miss - the evening snuggles on the couch before bedtime.
My precious boy that I just put on the plane was such a special little boy when he was young. He used to say to me most every night - "Mommy - I Love you!"
I would reply, "I love you more!"
He would say, "I love you with the biggest love!"
I would end by saying "Yes, but I love you with a mommy's love and that love is the "biggest" love of all!"
He would smile up at me with his big brown eyes and snuggle into his blankets with a contented sigh....Those are the days that I miss the most!
Blessings to you,