Sunday, November 30, 2008

I Hate Goodbyes

I just got back from taking my son to the airport. It is time to send him back to his college. It was so hard - I cried all of the way back home. Where did the week go? It flew by so fast. It seems that when you are waiting for a special event to arrive the time just drags, yet when you finally get there the time speeds by. This has been such a hard new path for me. I never envisioned being this far from my babies. This holiday season will be the most difficult time I have ever faced. My children (I have three children and my husband has four - we raised them all together) will be home with their father this year - a place that they will always call home - Washington. We will not be able to travel back there this year because the move was such a huge expense for us, that we are still trying to get our heads above water. No matter how many times we bring our kids here to visit - their home will always be in Washington. I can't help but feel that Washington is my home too. It is where I wish I could run to so often. I long to feel roots being planted deep in the soil here so that I can finally feel at home. I probably will never truly have that feeling when my family is so far from me. I don't know how people cope living far away from their loved ones. I guess I will have to find out the hard way.

I was able to do some shopping for him while he was here. He got his presents early due to the fact that he is so hard to buy clothes for. I will be sending him his usual cookies though. I am going to start my Christmas baking this week so that I can send Christmas cookies out to all of our kids. They have put in their favorite orders to me so that I can send all of my love through my baking. At least this will give me something to focus on. I also will need to learn the right times to send packages through the mail so that everything gets to them on time. With all of our children so spread out, that is definitely going to be a challenge.

This phase of my life happened before I could blink. I can't believe that I am an empty nester! I miss the sound of laughter in my house and spend alot of time thinking about their childhood years. Cherish the limited time you have with your kids -you young mothers out there who are reading this. It flies by so fast!

One of the gifts that I will be giving our two married daughters this year are memory boxes to hold all of their treasures from their growing up years. I heard about this on Oprah. (I am trying to link to the site - hopefully it worked because I have never done this before - It is supposed to take you to the treasure box section. It is on the third page of the article if it doesn't take you to the right spot) I have faithfully saved every item that my kids have ever made or things that were memorable in their life. Believe me - with seven children - that was alot! As the children become settled in their lives and have their own homes I will be putting together these boxes for them. It is probably going to cause more tears for me because I will walk down memory lane - but I think it will be a good thing to do for the kids as they are missing me as much as I am missing them.

I know that this is a heavy post today. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve - especially when it comes to my children who I consider my greatest achievements in life. This blog will be very therapeutic to me. You are reading my heart everytime I post - the good, the bad and hopefully not too often - the ugly.
If your children are still home with you, really take the time today to look at them. They are God's most precious gifts to us in this life. Curl up on the couch together and read to them (if they are little) and breathe in their wonderful scent. This is what I miss - the evening snuggles on the couch before bedtime.

My precious boy that I just put on the plane was such a special little boy when he was young. He used to say to me most every night - "Mommy - I Love you!"

I would reply, "I love you more!"

He would say, "I love you with the biggest love!"

I would end by saying "Yes, but I love you with a mommy's love and that love is the "biggest" love of all!"
He would smile up at me with his big brown eyes and snuggle into his blankets with a contented sigh....Those are the days that I miss the most!

Blessings to you,


Glenda said...

I really can't say that I know exactly how you feel, but I have a pretty good idea. I have one step-daughter and she has two children. They live nearby at the moment.
On the other hand, my sister spent her first Thanksgiving away from her son this year, due to his commitments at college. She will totally understand your angst.
I truly hope that very shortly the "red clay" soil of Georgia will grab you, and you will be able to put down the roots you spoke about. I also hope you are able to draw some solace from the many cyber friends you will make through your blog.
I saw the Oprah show you spoke of, and I think your idea for your children is a good one. I wish you much luck and a minimum of tears as you undertake the project. BTW, your link worked perfectly. I'll leave you with the hope that tomorrow is a better day than today.

Happy To Be said...

Oh Girl I feel your pain today so much!! Now I have been an empty nester for 20 years and I just love it now,,,but will tell you it was hard at first..the house was to quiet and that and I could atually find what I was looking for haha!! I had 6 kids total with my 3 and my late DH 3..we use to say we were the Brady Bunch only I did't have Alice in the Kitchen to help me..I know you will set down roots...and any time you get loney come and visit here in blogland..they are so many wonderful women here..caring and sharin..have a great day dear friend..hugs and smiles Gloria

kymber said...

Thank you so much for your kind words. I appreciate them so much. I truly DO love Georgia - I could find myself being very happy here it is just the pull of the heart of my children being far from me that is tearing me in the other direction. It is kind of funny really - when my daughter visited me here shortly before Thanksgiving, she told me - "Mom, you really aren't being very subtle." because I would be a "cheerleader" for Georgia! You would have thought that I was a realtor trying to sell someone on the place because I try so hard to get my kids to like it here so they will move closer to me. My daughter LOVES shopping so I took here to the Mall of Georgia. Alas, it wasn't enough to convince her to move - but can't help a girl for trying :)

Best regards,

kymber said...

I left you a comment on your blog - I am still trying to get the hang of how to best respond to comments. I want you all to know how much I appreciate your wonderful words

Glenda, I also wanted to ask you - why don't you take the leap and create a blog for yourself? You are very eloquent and your sister is such a great writer - I am sure she can tell you how much fun it is to journal - come join the fun with us!

Susan (Between Naps on the Porch) said...

Hi Kymber, I know it is sooo hard when your children are no longer at home. I only had one but I do miss him. I spent several days a while back putting pics into albums. They were pics of all the birthday parties, baseball games, etc...and I did end up sheding some tears. Miss my little boy so much sometimes! But it does get better. This can be a time for you to focus on you and things you may have wanted to learn a new language, go the symphony, start a garden in the spring, join a garden club, whatever it might be. Before you know it, I bet some of those children of yours will be having babies and they are going to want to be closer to Mom and Dad. Wouldn't be surprised if they don't move to GA just never know. In the meantime, turn the focus to you and your DH...have some fun and enjoy your new freedom!
:-) Susan

Glenda said...

I appreciate the kind thoughts Kymber, but I really don't have anything to share on a blog. Much better for me to try and learn from others and throw in anything I might happen to know on the posted subject via comments.
You are quite right though about Susan. She is very gifted in many, many ways writing being only one.
This Georgia clay bears a close resemblance in its attributes to cement. It starts out soft enough to squish through your toes if you are barefoot, but will set up as the moisture drys out.
Some of the most beautiful porcelain in the world is made from the white clay known as kaolin, deposits of which are found in my area of the state.
Whether red or white, the result is the same, I'm stuck here.
Don't worry so much. Home is where the parents are, and your children are just getting use to you not being near. They will come to think of Georgia as home, because that is where YOU are.

ann said...


ann said...